How I would describe off the rails Donald Trump when he said he would be the protector of women.
I woke up the other day and grabbed my cell phone to check my e-mail, where I had the pleasure of hearing a former president tell me about the state of American women using the internet. Now, early morning Trump is not a dream scenario for most of us girls, hey. This particular morning I learned that what I had always thought of as average happiness was an illusion, a cruel betrayal perpetrated by fake news to make all of us ladies feel content with life. Joe Biden and evil Kamala Harris.
But Trump enlightened me. It turns out I’m less healthy, less safe on the streets, and poorer, paying more for all the cosmetics I smuggle in between groceries so my husband doesn’t see me spending so much on junk. (As an aside, we girls have to buy a lot of cosmetics to protect our looks so husbands don’t change us into younger models like Trump. But I’m extrapolating here. To be fair, Trump didn’t actually say that. I would. characterize it as a nuanced trope, except I don’t have the education or intelligence to use words like trope.)
But I’m running. Apparently, I am “more stressed and depressed, unhappy and less confident about the future than I was four years ago.” God! All this enlightenment, even before getting out of bed in the morning. Fortunately, help is on the way.
“I will fix all this and quickly. Finally, this nation, our national nightmare will end.” Why? Because Trump will be our protector!
Good old Donald Trump will make me “safe at the border”. (I’m assuming he means the Mexican border, not the borders of my hometown, which the FBI has described as one of the safest places in the country, in part because many of its immigrant citizens are model citizens.) The good news is that Trump isn’t just at my border. will not ensure my safety. He will keep me and all the other women safe on the sidewalks [our] violent cities now besieged by migrant criminals in the suburbs. Who knew?
The even better news is that — a true friend of women — Trump isn’t just about securing my borders. No. She deals with all the problematic emotional issues that girls struggle with after we take out our curlers and put on our makeup and six-inch heels so that when we walk, our bums move.
Donald assures me that “I will no longer be abandoned, lonely, and afraid. I won’t be in danger anymore, I won’t worry about all the problems our country is experiencing today.”
How? Trump will be my protector! Women will be “happy, healthy, confident and free.” All we have to do is vote for him.
Wow! I was very relieved. And I didn’t even get out of bed that day. There is no need. I can just roll over and go to sleep, safe in the knowledge that the old Catch Them Cat is at work and taking care of me.
The man the jury says must pay E. Jean Carroll The $83.3 million sexual assault and defamation suit is taking time away from his multiple appeals and presidential campaign. my protector. Adult film star Stormy Daniels was paid hush money and Roe v. The person who appointed the judges who overturned Wade will deal with me. This man, known for his derogatory, degrading and downright nasty comments about women, is going to be our protector, ladies. All we have to do is put on our stilettos and rush to vote for him and we’ll be “happy, healthy, confident and free.”
Seriously?
Now, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the moral courage of several Republican leaders — women like Liz Cheney — who found the strength to stand up to Donald Trump. The former Republican congressman campaigned with Harris on Wednesday in Wisconsin, known as the birthplace of the Republican Party. Three other Republican women are former Trump White House aides Cassidy HutchinsonAlyssa Farah Griffin and Sarah Matthews are set to campaign for Harris in Pennsylvania next week. I know that not all Republicans, and certainly not all women, are stupid enough to fall for Trump’s blatant lies about how he will treat women. We finally have a chance – a great chance – to elect a strong woman as president who will work to ensure equal treatment for women. Why would any woman want to return to the false world of protection that Trump offers?
It’s time for a female president. Women can make a difference in this election by voting for Harris and sending Trump the message that he no longer needs to “protect” women. We can take good care of ourselves.
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