The tech industry loves to breathlessly sell you their newest, biggest, and best new idea. Pitches need to be fast and aggressive, because if you spend more than a second thinking about what they’re selling, you might not reach your wallet. Bright as the products CES 2024 Las Vegas can be, they often have a fatal weakness. Which has no answer to their most important question: “y tho?”
LG arrived at CES showing off a 77-inch wireless 4K OLED TV that’s transparent for some reason. You can play images of a singer, an aquarium, or other screensaver-type items as a conversation piece in your home. But it turns out that being transparent isn’t actually great for watching TV, so your transparent TV ships with a stark black background to make it already transparent. I can imagine this being used as an advertising display or as an installation in a museum or corporate office. But why spend so much money on a TV that prevents its main feature from working properly?
It is important that devices are designed with accessibility as a primary concern rather than eventual closure. No one hates a voice-activated toilet, which can help people with access needs get through their day. But Kohler’s bidet seat is deeply integrated with Alexa or Google Home. Why on earth would you spend more than two grand to provide Amazon or Google with detailed information about your bathroom habits?
Lockly’s Visage smart lock uses facial recognition to enter your home and unlocks the door if it detects you’re approaching. Putting aside the nasty privacy and security implications of smart locks, you should never connect to the internet, it’s a crazy idea. Why leave something as important as access to your home at the whim of a sensor or an unproven gadget?
The Urtopia Fusion is an e-bike equipped with a 540Wh battery, a powerful mid-drive motor and pneumatic suspension forks that promises a range of 75 miles. It’s also, for some please reason, equipped with ChatGPT, which the company says will let you “talk” to your bike. Its personal assistant will help you “discover new routes”, “get real-time information” and even “engage in fun conversations” when asked. Why on earth would you want to talk to your bike when you have something else to focus on?
Hyundai has unveiled a new VTOL air taxi concept that will take people on short hops of up to 40 miles. It can reach speeds of 120 miles per hour and will probably never make it to the real world. After all, why go to the trouble of redesigning the entire world to accommodate this disaster waiting to happen?
We’re reporting live from CES 2024 in Las Vegas, January 6-12. Stay up to date with the latest news from the show here.
